Saturday, January 15, 2011


She worked all day, went school, took care of the baby. He laid on the couch, smoked weed, talked shit. They told me he beat her.

They went to the hospital, she was 8 months pregnant, the bruises spoke for themselves.

Great, you're leaving me just when you're starting to look good again.

Uncomfortable. Florescent green stuffed into her ears to drown out the noise of the TV. He refused to turn it down.

What do you call the useless skin around the vagina? A woman. 12 year olds. 

Man, wrongly misconstrued through music and media as a pussy-getting, violence-doing, money-making bag of supressed feelings. Respect isn't deserved, it is earned, by a man who is kind, passionate, and respectful. Who is able to comprehend the wisdom inherent in the woman, not just in her body; the breast that feed, the hips that bare the child, but in the mind and the senses, the sensitivity and the intuition. A man who can listen not only to her words but to her silence. Appreciates her right to decline a sexual advance as she is not a dumping ground for sperm and emotional challenges, but a person with the right to say no. Knows that, yes, she will always love her children more than him, and not be threatened rather grateful for her sacrifice of body and well being to birth the fruit of their combined genetics. Chooses her with the same criteria he would apply to a best friend; honesty, intelligence, sense of humor. Doesn't use words he can't take back, because no apology can admonish the sting of sentences meant to damage. Measures himself against himself, not against her. Respect her right to work and have passion outside of their relationship, no one can make him feel like a man but him. Inherent in that definition of man lay humanity, the values of peacably living among other people, men and women alike, despite the subliminal and intentional messages inherent in religion, television, and schooling. 

Though I have failed in the past, lowered myself to accepting abuse, made myself smaller to boost their egos, I have not lost faith, I believe one exists. One who's spirituality precedes his sexuality. Who values the word too much to dishonor it with the use of  bitch, cunt. His love is not in the form of gifts and empty promises, but is shaped by the every day idiosyncrasies, the small gestures and mutual obedience to our shared happiness.

If he is a man, he is nothing less.

1 comment:

  1. love this....along with everything you write!