Lately I have been dabbling in social settings I have been far removed from for 2 years, placing importance on appearance and impressions more than I have been listening to my inner voice. My daydreams of sustainable housing in an organic haven have been temporarily replaced with thoughts of social interactions and others' perceptions of me, not an arena I am happy playing in. I have felt a dichotomy between my timeless soul desire and my day to day manifestations. Overanalyzing and trying to avoid past pitfalls have all but consumed my minds landscape, my eventual off the grid home pushing back at the frivolous thoughts, creating an uncomfortable dissonance with in me.
I am grateful that I was trying on clothes last night in anticipation for a social gathering, as I don't know what would have happened had they not broken Tally's fall. And in a strange way I am even appreciative of her fall, as terrifying as it was, because it made me see that my time is better spent improving my self in ways that matter, living in grace and being with my daughter, than pushing outward concerned with superficialities.