Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tao of Tyler

My 10 year old brother, as irritating as he is charming, says and writes some of the most entertaining and unexpected things. Here is a brief display of some of his most infamous quotes and poetry for your reading pleasure.

Take care to imagine these quotes being said with an adorable lisp and confident curiosity:

1) While out walking with Chloe, Tyler inquired of her "Which Simpsons character do you think I am?"
"Bart," Chloe replied with what she thought was the most obvious answer.
Outraged, Tyler declared "Bart?! I'm not Bart. I'm Lisa. I'm nice and smart and beautiful...Bronte's Bart."

2) One day we were all gathered in the kitchen making scones and, per Bronte's request, listening to Justin Beiber's One Time. When Justin sang out "your fight is my fight" Tyler questioned as he scrubbed a plate "Why would you get a girl involved in a fight?"

3)Keikai and I were out on the patio and heard Tyler's usual barrage of battle noises from the upstairs bedroom. After about 5 minutes of non-stop shooting Keikai yelled up "I think whoever you're shooting is dead, Tyler." Tyler opened his balcony door, looked down and said matter of factly "It's more than one person..."

4)After Mom had given up on tutoring Tyler, she deferred schooling duty to Bronte for the day. Bronte found success in the form of bribery and told Tyler if he completed his school in a timely fashion she would buy him Pringles from across the street. I walked in the room to get something and observed this dialogue:
"Tyler, that's one strike, two more and no chips."
High pitched whistle emitted from Tyler.
"That's another strike."
"What kind of school is this?!"

Though for the most part getting Tyler to complete his school work is like pulling teeth, poetry is the one aspect he enjoys. Here re a few of his fabulous written works.


The stupid fly

has a bugging life,

And likes to see

His buddy die.


Fireworks are like lightning,

A big bomb,

Like a disco ball,

Sounding like a crack !


Fluffy fur,

Black nose,


Pointy tail,


I'm happy and stupid,

I'm a dog.


Listen! Do you hear . . .

The flies,

The workers,

The birds,

The pounding,

The chinking,

The whistling,

The radio,

And the door slamming!


The far away sounds of working,

The far away sounds of dogs barking,

The far away sound of a BANG!


T he pool is taking 7 months,

M y family found a puppy,

A bird fell next door earlier today,

T o play soccer you have to go to the Plaza,

I hate tomatoes,

S occer is my favorite sport,

S ome people are evil,

E very day I smack Baby Phat.


A snowflake,

A paper cut out,

Different . . .

But still the same,

One goes away

And one remains.

I hope these make you as happy as they make me.

Check out the video page to see his most impressive Michael Jackson impersonation.

1 comment:

  1. bahahhaa, thanks for the laugh! I had completely forgotten about the bart/lisa conversation. Also...the Justin Bieber song is called "one time"...not one love. :)